Wednesday, September 22, 2010

What to wear?

Clothes. They make the man.
Well, actually, no they don’t. That’s the sad reality to the way our society leans now a days (along with all the other materialistic items that are must haves.) If you don’t have the “right” clothes, you’re just not cool. Other people will know how uncool you are. And what will they think? *Gasp* Dress for the world and you'll be all right. Make sure "they" all think you're cool.
How about what God thinks? I’ve had a few people ask me about the way I dress. “Do you always wear skirts?” “What’s with the bandanna thing on your head?” and the Lord has laid it on my heart to share with all of you.
Let’s start at the beginning. As a teenage girl I didn’t particularly like wearing dresses or skirts. I liked wearing jeans. I liked looking as though “I could hold my own” because I was always confident that I could and I wanted folks to know it. I grew up with a mom a dad and a brother and I spent most of my time playing Lego's and GI Joes with my brother and watching things like NASCAR and Monday Night Football with my dad. I wasn’t a sissy and sissies wore dresses. Part of that stemmed from the male influence and part of it came from my "Cowgirls don't cry" mentality. Don’t get me wrong, I did have dolls and ponies and I loved being a “mama” to them but that didn’t mean that I had to be a prissy one. I didn’t want people thinking I was a wimp.
As I’ve grown up though God has really opened my heart to what being a woman is all about and what a belssing it is to be a daughter of the King! Wearing skirts and dresses isn’t about being a sissy. It’s not about being a wimp and it doesn’t make me any less “tough.” The Lord has shown me how I can fully embrace my femininity! I love the feminine feeling of wearing skirts, pretty floral blouses and other frilly things. While I don’t believe that there is anything wrong with wearing jeans or other pants, I simply choose not to. I still own pants. They are in my dresser drawer and if an occasion called for wearing them, I would.
I don’t look down on those who choose to dress differently than I do (in a modest way) and neither does God. I’ve heard the scripture in Deuteronomy 22:5 “ A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this” used in reasoning why women should wear dresses and skirts exclusively. But for those who are born again, in Christ and have been freed from the old laws, that verse doesn’t hold ground anymore. Unless you’re also adding 4 tassels to all of your cloak corners and building parapets on the roofs of your homes as well.
I do believe however that God does strongly desire for a woman to look like a woman and a man to look like a man. But there are many ways for a woman to still look like a female in pants. I’m of the opinion that your entire appearance should be that of a woman (or a man, depending on your gender.) While wearing a dress or skirt would determine without a doubt that you are a woman, there are still plenty of clothes that you can look feminine in. Along with looking feminine, we should also strive to always be modest. Wearing shirts or blouses that are high cut, not low cut. Pants that fit loosely, not skin tight. Skirts that come below the knee, not above it. And please, undergarments hidden at all times. Trust me, no one wants to see any of that! It’s not sexy, it’s just gross.
I’ve tried to do quite a bit of research regarding head coverings. I talked to many Christian women, many of whom have had the conviction to research it themselves, some led to wear them and others led not to. I read version upon version of the 1 Corinthians verse in different Bibles. I read internet articles for and against wearing one and I decided that it was something that I needed to do; something that God was asking me to do. A friend recently emailed me a link to an online article and I think it described my belief on it near perfectly, “A woman has the choice to wear a head covering if she views it as a sign of her submission to the authority of her husband. However, it is a personal choice and not something that should be used to judge spirituality.” Paul writes in part of 1 Corinthians 11 that, “And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors here head- it is just as though her head were shaved……for this reason and because of the angels, a woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head” You can read the entire text of 1 Cor 11 here. While a covering is not something that Jesus commands us to do it is simply a matter of individual personal conviction. I choose to wear one but that doesn’t mean that all my sisters in Christ must wear one too.

If you have any questions I’d be glad to chat with you. You can leave a comment here and I’ll try to answer it here as best I can or if you’d prefer you can email me at


Kim said...

Very well said, my friend. I didn't used to embrace my femininity, but as I've gotten older, I don't care what people think even if I'm mowing the lawn in a skirt! (Although kitchen demolition is one of those times that calls for pants!) I am glad you found your answers with the head covering. I admire you for following where the Lord leads you to be!

Anonymous said...

I find it interesting that people would ask you why you chose to do what is a personal conviction...but such is the curiosity of man. =)

I grew up in a "holiness" sort of church, where pants, jewelry, short hair, and make-up were frowned upon. At times, focus was so pointedly upon the external, that one's inner man was neglected. I have seen many heartaches come from that situation.

I do not embrace those external restrictions personally, however I embrace modesty. It is wrong to dress provocatively and cause lust in another's heart. I will always wear dresses or skirts to the Lord's house, as I feel my best attire should be worn, and because I grew up wearing skirts to church and school. However, in my work, which is housekeeping, I feel more modest wearing pants.

I'm not really familiar with the headcovering, although my husband is our spiritual covering and I keep my hair long as it pleases him. I am familiar with the scriptures, I just have never prayed about its application to me personally.

I think that in everything there must be balance and also obedience to the Lord. What He requires of us individually is vital to submit too, otherwise we are walking in disobedience. I have always told my children regarding things, 'It might be alright for some, but it is not for us.' We are accountable to God for our response to what He speaks to us....not the Jones's. =)

God bless you as you walk in obedience to Him!

Anonymous said...

I have so enjoyed visiting your blog. I too prefer skirts and dresses. People ask me all the time why do I wear skirts and dresses. Like I am so weirdo.LOL But that is their problem. You are a very wise young lady. I look forward to reading more of your blog. When you have time stop by and visit me.
Blessings in Christ,

Thistle Cove Farm said...

My rich heritage is as the Granddaughter of a Pentecostal Holiness preacher and Godly parents. I was raised quite strictly - no dancing, no card playing, essentially no "wordly" entertainment although Mom and Daddy bucked her Dad and let me see Disney movies. Radical move on their part! At the time, I thought it unfair but now realize what a blessing it was and continues to be in my life and in my marriage.
I wear dresses and skirts, most days, although on sheep shearing day I'll wear pants. If I could find a denim split skirt, I'd wear that and my sewing skills are a little lacking to make it. I wear dresses and skirts because they remind me to be a woman first and farmer/shepherd second. When I'm dressed as a woman, I seem to take more time doing whatever I'm doing and I'm able to reflect more on God and His blessings. I wear hats or scarves but not as a "head covering" but to keep my hair clean or the sun out of my eyes or the elements off my head.
It doesn't bother me if women dress in pants all the time; it's the heart that matters and that's reflected in a person's life and attitudes.
But, dressing in skirts/dresses surely makes people take notice and I receive many more compliments when I'm dressed nicely and in skirts/dresses. I'll take it!
Good post, Heather; enjoyed it greatly. Drop by the farm sometime, miss seeing you.

ktquilts said...

There is a lot of freedom in Christ!! Yay you for listening to His work in your heart!! That is the most important item in your wardrobe, Christ!



Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you broached the subject again and shared with us what your decision was in the headcovering issue. I've thought about it much since you and I talked.
I just have to say that I'm so proud of you. I'm proud that you are not afraid of the worldly view. I'm proud that you are following the conviction that God has laid on your heart.

After we talked, I prayed about this in reference to my life. I'm still not sure of the answer for me though. I think the difference may be that my husband is not living in a relationship with Jesus and he would not understand. So in obedience to him, I choose not to have headcoverings at this time. I know that God will do a work on his heart and someday he will renew his walk with the Lord. Until then, I pray.

Heather, thanks for being such a wonderful example of a Christian wife and mother. You have touched my life.

Jamie said...

Oh my goodness, you and I sound so similar! I found you via Raising Homemakers. I recently wrote an article on my blog about wearing feminine dress.
I have the same convictions that you do. I also recently began studying head coverings and ordered my first head covering last week although I'm still not sure how I feel about them. we too do not have cable but own a tv for videos and my favorite movie is Pride and Prejudice. I can not get sick of it. Just wanted to stop by and say hi. We also have 4 children so far.

Jamie at

Anonymous said...

I was wondering if you have ever researched the type of head coverings that were worn in Bible days? Since you have chosen to wear head coverings based on what the Bible says, do you believe the same type of coverings should be worn as then? I am not asking to be judgmental, it just seems that so many of the head coverings today are more like bandanas and it makes me wonder if women are more willing and apt to wear them today because they are somewhat fashionable. Do you have any thoughts on this that you would be willing to share? Thank you!

Mountain Home Quilts said...

Blessed Mommy,
I'd be glad to answer your questions! :) Hopefully this won't get too long.
No, I have never researched the actual type of headcovering that was worn in Corinth. I actually don't think that it matters what type of covering is actually worn. Wether you choose a short or long veil or a bandana type covering isn't the issue. The purpose of wearing a covering on your head is to show a sign of submission to "the head" which is Christ for those unmarried and their husband for those married.
In my experience it's actually not "fashionable" at all. I personally only know of one other lady in our entire county that wears a covering and she attends a different church than I. I'm sort of the odd person out. I don't know what it's like where you live though.
I wear the type of covering that is approved by my husband. I personally prefer a longer covering than he likes. If I'm wearing it to show submission to him though, shouldn't I be wearing a covering that he approves of, instead of what I want?
Melissa at Happy Homestead on Etsy makes my favorite covering. It's a convertable covering that can be worn like a headband or like a short veil. I buy those. They adhere to the type of covering my husband likes and can be converted to a longer covering if my husband ever granted me the permission to wear a longer one.
I hope that helps out with your questions. Thanks so much for asking! :)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for taking the time to answer. I appreciate your input and your heart. I'm glad you touched on the part about submitting to your husband. That is very important. Have a blessed day!

Amanda said...

Hi there. I really appreciate you talking about this issue. Our stories sound very similar. Growing up I hardly ever wore dresses. I became a Christian in my late teenage years and by the time I was 22 I felt the Lord was asking me to wear dresses and cover my head. It has been a wonderful blessing! Thanks for sharing!

Related Posts with Thumbnails